The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
