Your tits are I can't wait for
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
