Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
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