he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
So much rum. So many feels.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
