like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
