I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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