she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
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Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
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Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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