I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
