He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
