Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
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