The brown eye won't let me do that either.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize