If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
