Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
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