Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
