you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Rumble strips road head = magical
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
