i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
