return my video game
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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