when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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