It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
