He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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