So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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