I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
