I like to think it a success when the cops are called
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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