I would go down on you faster than GM stock
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
