did you get engaged???
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
