I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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