I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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