He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
You left your phone here
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