I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
