If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
