they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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