whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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