if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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