he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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