mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
