My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Just puked most of my soul out..
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
