erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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