Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
