Jerry, you need to find god
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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