bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
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Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
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I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
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