I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
What did we do last night that was yellow?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
