He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
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Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
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did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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