She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Randomize