I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
