Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
