The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
