she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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