You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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