i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
