You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I bet he comes in French.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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