Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
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