Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
