Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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