PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
She bit a glass in half.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
