Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
