I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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