I was born with a shot glass in my hand
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
