Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize