in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm having to shit out rocks
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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